I took C. to see The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian today. It was very very good. Ben Barnes (as we all know) is a hot smexy piece.
The problem was this foul freak of a man who tried to ruin our lovely afternoon out.
C. and I arrived early to the theater and were the first ones inside.
A few minutes later this dude walks in wearing a “Young, Saved and Single” t-shirt. For those not familiar with Born Again Christians – they refer to themselves as “saved” (as do Christian Fundamentalists). Apparently, everyone else is not “saved”, thank gawd.
So this dude walks in, talking to himself, looks at me and says,”It’s been a few years since I have been in here.”
I nod.
He then saunters up the stairs and sits right behind me. In an empty theater, where every seat is available.
The Born Again is kinda freaking me out now, I am getting bad vibes. He leans over to my daughter and me and asks, “Would you guys like some bubble gum?”
Um, no. No thank you Mr. Freaky Pants.
A few uncomfortable minutes pass. I consider asking him to move, then I decide that would be rude. I don’t want to move because we were here first, damnit!
Thankfully other people start arriving in the theater. Yay!
I play Bejeweled on my cellphone while C. eats Sno-caps, oblivious to the Born Again staring at Mommy and boring holes into the back of her head.
You know how you can just tell someone is looking at you? Ew.
About five minutes before the movie is due to begin, there is a murmur through the audience that the screen is still black. No previews are showing, but we can hear the audio. Born Again gets up, (yay) I am hoping he got the vibe that he was creeping me out and decided to move. But no. He comes back a few minutes later and sits right back in the same damn seat behind me (!) Ugh.
Then he taps me on the shoulder and says, “I told them the screen is still black, they’re going to take care of it right away.”
Um, okay, but why tell me? Oh, should I give you a blow job now, because you told the kid behind the concession stand the screen is dark?
I just nod and then I ask Caleigh if she wants to sit closer to the screen. She says yes, but we end up choosing a seat behind Born Again instead, just so he can’t look at us anymore. He does turn around once, but I give him the evil eye and he whips his head around so fast he must have gotten whiplash.
Okay, so why do freaks like this think I will be receptive to their freaky advances? Not that he really did anything except act really creepy.
I need to point out I do not look friendly. I don’t smile at strangers often, and I didn’t smile at him. I always wear my wedding ring. You’d think since he was “saved” and all that he’d respect the sanctity of marriage. I am not that attractive, and I had my kid with me!
So why single me out? Why?!
Thankfully after we moved seats and the movie started, Ben made everything all better. Born Again forgot about us too.
The End.
Actually I think the guy had been in prison, since he said, “it’s been a few years since I’ve been in here.”
And a lot of convicts become Born Agains while they are in the joint.
Perhaps he was just being nice? Or attempting to be? Maybe he was lonely. Or am I just being naïve here? It has been a while since I’ve been hit on by a born again Christian, I’m not sure what it entails anymore.
the exact same thing happens to me! like ill be out somewhere and some random creepy personw ill come up to me and ask for advice about what cereal to buy, which cat litter works best, whats a good place to eat in town, wuhis the best ghey bar, etc. its crazy! buh i guess u and i both hav this type of lite inside that attracts other people or some shih.
what did the dude look like? was he tall, short, fat, ugly, buff (they are usually buff if theya re jus getting out of jail).
that wude hav creeped me out as well. buh maybe he was jus being nice to u all?
also ru and ur hubbie irish?
Cait – I don’t know, maybe he was trying to be nice. But I wish he tried to be nice to someone else instead
Afers – he was medium height, white, ugly, not very buff (good call about guys being buff just out of jail). Maybe he was trying to be nice. But he still creeped me out.
Also, my hubbie is of Irish descent. I am Polish/Italian.
Maybe he was just trying to be nice. I’ve had a couple of encounters like that and I think some people just genuinely don’t realise that their attempt at friendly is actually just plain creepy
Also, is Prince Caspian any good?
I think you are right, he prob was trying to be nice.
You guys are making me feel guilty now
Miss World- I liked the film, my daughter did too. It’s 2 1/2 hours long so I thought she wouldn’t be able to sit all the way through it. But it was really entertaining and kept her interest until the end.
Don’t feel guilty! Whether he was being friendly or not he was giving off creepy vibes and that shit is inexcusable!! I’m kidding btw. Well, half kidding
I think I’ll take my son to see it, he loves fantasy films and I’ll get to ogle Ben Barnes so it’s a good day all round!
Ha, Mr. Freaky Pants!!
Yaya!
I’ll be back to comment on this tomorrow. I have so much that needs to be said, but I’ve got a busy day. At least I get Sun-Thurs off this week
Yay, Daners!
Is it wrong I make fun of these types of people? I’m sure Jesus understands and will not send me to eternal damnation and all that jazz.
I did laugh when he tapped you on your shoulder to tell you he went and saved the day by teling them the screen was dark! Yay! Your knight in shining armor, right? Oh, no?
I will shank a bitch they get all up in my bubble. I HATE that more than anything. And when people touch you thinking they can. HATE!!
Hi-Five me Daners! I knew you’d understand
Hi-Five!!!!!!!!!