I’m having a shitastic day!
This will make you lolz. The Office – Jim smacks Dwight:
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I was late to school today; when I pulled into the parking lot I realized I left all my books and shite at home. So I decided to go food shopping. I got my period in the frozen food aisle. It sucked. I was wearing beige jeans. I decide to get drunk. I go home, pop open a bottle of Red Stripe. The phone rings, I’m talking to my bro and lighting some aromatherapy candles in a feeble attempt to “soothe” myself. I catch my thumbnail on fire (my nails are still done up like Liberace’s house on Halloween). Apparently glittery nails polish is highly flammable. I blow out my thumbnail like it is a smoking gun. My brother is laughing hysterically. He asks for pics. He is an asshole.
Anyway here’s a pic of my smoking hot new manicure:
Sorry it’s so blurry, I’m a righty and I snapped the pic with my lefty.
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In completely unrelated news:
Jessica Biel wore a fugly pants suit today in Rome to promote Easy Harlot Virtue.
How awkward does Shelf Ass look with her hands on the tops of her thighs like that? I wonder if Justin Timberlake told her she wasn’t allowed to touch Ben?
Or else she’d be “crying a river”:
In case you didn’t know, JT is totes jealous of Benji & Shelf Ass’s sez scenes!
Did I mention Ben Barnes was there? 
He looked hawt. I can’t find a good crotch shot of him in these pics tho’ 
Here he is pointing at Akeelers and me in the audience. Ben’s saying, “that one there holding the Westie is my wife/half sister/cousin & the other one wif the tattoos who’s flashing her boobs is my concubine. We have many sezy times. I hope Akeelers is on the pill cos I don’t wanna make behbehs wif 3 heads since we’re related and all.”:
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Bonus!
Craptastic passage in Breaking Yawn Dawn by Stephenie Meyer that made me snort giggle wif disgust:
It was a place where anyone could believe magic existed. A place where you expected Snow White to walk right in with her apple in hand, or a unicorn to stop and nibble at the rosebuds.
Edward had always thought he belonged to the world of horror stories. Of course, I’d known he was dead wrong. It was obvious he belonged here. In a fairy tale.
And now I was in the story with him.
Oh lordy. I need another beer.
I’m sorry you’re having such an asstastic day
Well at least you can pheel better by laughing at Jessica Biel’s suit. It’s from John McCain Collection, complete with double amputee pant hem.
I’m digging the brown nut huggers, Barnesy.
dam! i hayt those days when im late to school and forget everything.
as long as ur caught up on ur work, then im sure ull be fine w/ ur classes…
who the frock does ur nails? they are soo gehdough and fa-bu!
Hahaha! I love The Office! Dwight rules even when he’s getting slapped.
I hope your evening was better than your day! Damn, girl, that nail is fucked! Your story cracked me up, btw.
oy oy oy! there goes the manicure! but still the glitter remains! (maybe some fan wished you keep your claws away from the fake-Caspian at Disney Land, lol) hope things are better today!
He looks busted. Sorry about your day yesterday.
Ha, crying a river.
Hope today is much better.
Akeelers – HAHAHAHA “It’s from the John McCain Collection, complete with double amputee pant hem.”
If I had an arse like JB I wouldn’t hide it under pants like those.
Afers – I think I’ll be okay w/ the classes, so it’s all good
I get my nails done at “VIP Nails” hee 
Morgan – I ♥ The Office too! Dwight really does make the show. He’s one of my favorite characters.
yeah, my nail is fucked. I guess I’ll just leave it like that ’til it falls off or something. I’m glad you liked my story. I was laughing when I wrote it
Hey Barned! I haven’t seen you here in a while. I’m so happy you stopped by! It’s more fun over on the LJ Ben Comms
Yeah, I think someone put a hex on me or something. hahaha. People are possesive of Benji, even the fake Ben.
Anners – Thankies. I think he looks hawt. Diff’rent strokes and all
Jenn – Yay! you got my Timberlake song reference! You’re gonna get a prize. I don’t know what it is, but it’ll be cool.
Today is going better. I slept most of the day since I had no classes. I figured it was safer to stay inside.
Who’s the other guy in the picture?
He’s the director of the movie Easy Virtue, he looks like a drunk in the pic, doesn’t he?
There’s other pics of him where it appears he’s taking photos of Ben’s arse, but I was too tired to post those.
@aliers i bet thats where all the strippers go to get their nails done! u kno the ones who get on stage and stik those long acrylic nails inside their blintzes? jaja!
HAHAHA Probably Afers! Maybe that’s why all the nail gurls/guys wear gloves and masks over their noses & mouths like surgeons?
It looks really friggin weird that his facial hair only grows at the bottom of his chin.
Janers! – That’s not a nice thing to say about Jessica Biel!
You know she takes steroids to be that buff and all.
OMG, are you flipping us off? Muwhahaha! I just got my fingers and toesies done as well… I’ll try to take a picture of my toes (French – you want flower?) but the fingers are pretty dark… I have shorter nails so I love dark polish on them for some reason. It looks kinda hot! Hehehe! Right now it’s OPI’s “Lincoln Park After Dark.” I love their stuff… the names are too funny.
Well… I’m back. Thanks for adding me to Facebook!
Hey Melons! Cool beans
I burnt my nail in that photo. It’s hard to tell. That black/brown tip isn’t nail polish – it’s charred!
(French – you want flower?)
You crack me up!
OPI has the best names for their polish. I love that color you have now too. Very sezy!