Just when I thought my showmance fatigue would subside since no major media outlets picked up the Whorely and Cabbage engagement story, I now have a new holy trinity of famewhores to hate for making me sick with all their media blitz fuckery.
All this shyt started when Angelina Whorlie ran her damn trout pout to the New York Times, saying that she and Cad Shitt fell in lurve while filming Mrs. and Mrs Smith. No shit, Sherlock! Bytch spent the past three years lying about the shit, only to confess it when she’s making a run at an Oscar. Shameless hussy!
Brad:"Your breath smells like cock. I must possess you!"
Not to be outdone, Jennifer Anusjizz, decides to whine about it to Vogue magazine because she has no friends and because she also has her own movie, Marley & Me, coming out the same time as her wayward ex. I don’t know what pissed me off more, the fact that she didn’t apply the verbal smackdown to Angelina for rubbing that shyt in her phace, or the fact that she was kissing Brad’s ass like he was the victim.
"I wonder if John's piss will heal my sunburn? Hmmm..."
Well, according to the Chicago Sun-Times, Wilmford Brimley Brad wasn’t having any of that shyt, so he popped a Werther’s Original in his mouth and called up the first wife to tell her to STFU about his anus-mouthed baby mama and to commence humping her body pillows.
"Wait! My hair plugs!"
Quite frankly, I hate them all and I’m sick of the Brangeloonies and the Loonifers trying to defend them. Maybe we should hire *Neely O’Hara * to bludgeon them all to death with a sock full of doorknobs.
Akeelers you crack me up. The names youcome up with are genius and so scathing-love it!
I agree I think Aniston should either stfu or go straight buck wild on Mangelina. Bytch stole your man and all you have to say is uncool? If that were me I’d call up cheaters and sloot would be picking her own teeth out of her ass.
You know, every year or so I start thinking about how delicious Werthers sounds so i go out and buy a bag. Then once I pop one in my mouth i am reminded that indeed not as delightful as they sound. That being said, i am going to buy some next time i go to the store. I know the logic is faulty, but i think everytime will be different. I am a batter wife to Werther’s drunk redneck husband. “Things’ll change this time! It’ll be different!…”
Yeah! Go Neely! Go Neely!
Heee! Neely has a fan club already. We are awesome like that!
poopoo, i don’t know why my comments from yesterday did not show up. This computer is rebelling because it knows i’m only using it because i dropped and broke my other one. Jealous bytch computer!
Anyway. basically i praised Akeelers for her clever name making skills and stated that Aniston needs to either give that ho a major beatdown or stfu. Oh, and i also said if that were me, Ho-lie would be picking her own teeth out of her ass. It would be epic.
no fair – I am totally an Angeloonie – I don’t give a rat’s about all this crap in the media. She does good around the world and that deserves some respect.
I like Sangie better when she was a crazy bytch. She was so fun then.
Jane, I thought I could like Angie because she is a humanitarian, but the whole husband-stealing thing just doesn’t sit well with me, especially since this isn’t the first time it’s happened. I would have made her head permanently match her swollen lips.
Jen is no better. Her post-Friends career has thrived on playing “the scorned ex-wife who can’t find a decent guy because she is too scarred from a failed marriage” role. She’s spent the last 4 years trying to counter every thing the Jolie-Pitts have done in the press, often with disastrous results. Too late for her to try to act classy now.
They both suck.