Show Dingho February 4, 2009

In case you missed it, our resident dingo hit us with the patented oh-no-you-caught-me-being-famous-with-my-famous-boyfriend routine yet again this weekend at Hollywood hot spot, Teddy’s.

Well she’s gotta to have something to tell the press at the next Walmart David Jones Fashion Show.  They never want to talk about her stunningly useless self anyways.  She emerged from their vehicle in a micro mini and a flanel shirt(!), looking like she moonlights as an escort down at the local moose lodge. And I’m convinced that those ratty ass brown boots can drive a forklift on their own.  Never mind that they look like she ran a marathon in them.  Maybe the shippers ought to have a charity fundraiser to buy her some new boots.

"You think this is the zoo? NO LIVE ANIMALS!"

Since Whorelando fled the paparazzi and ruined her money shot (what’s with him fleeing from cars all the time?), she decided to call in a sighting of her giving Whorelando a lap dance and almost got her stupid arse canned by DJ’s!  Says the source:

“Whorelando wuz relacksing in his seete wile eye, er, Miranduh stude up inn fruntt of him, dansing be tween his leggs. Eye, eye meen shee base, baise, phuckit! Shee gaive him a lapp danse.”

As if Whorelando having to putting out that cold engagement denial in the first place was any indication of her media savvy skills, she need not get fired from a “lucrative” job on account of us jellus fat h8ters.  Doutzen can’t hear the dingo talking shyt about her from the produce section. I guess winding up posters on Just Jared wasn’t working out for her.  And I still haven’t figured out the whole inspiration thing that her people are desperately trying to pimp.  What the hell is so inspiring about a girl who looks like a licked lollipop anyways?  Whatever.

"Sorry, didn't recognize you standing up. Right this way." Dingo: "Itt's ohkay. Meat mee layter inn the lasst stahll?"

I want to take time out to address a few recurring issues the shippers seem to have with us Delphiers.   A lot of you have stated that we formed our board just to complain and make hateful speech against the dingo, and that’s just not true.   A lot of you have stated that we lie about being fair and balanced on our board, and that’s not true either. We’ve already made our case at JJ, so no need to rehash it here.  We’ll obviously never see eye to eye on the whole Kerrbloom romance, so let’s just agree to disagree so that we can move forward and mend our divided fandumb.  I want to make the first step in the healing process by offering a coupon for free services* from the saintly Our Lady of Cabbage, Miranda Kerr at the pap sighting of your choice.   For the sanctimonious Ka-Bloom cunt, you take two.  Can’t say we never tried to make amends.

*Offer only good every 4-6 weeks. 2 fan minumum. All participants must show proof of vaccinations.  Not responsible for accidental mauling.