About hot slag Akeelers September 23, 2008

Note: This was written by Akeelers for Akeelers. McCain has not approved this message

Since you slags seem to be fascinated with crazy people, I thought I’d go ahead and update my about page. I’m a 20-ish Leo with a slim, rexy build. I enjoy walks on the beach at sunset, buying shyt I know I can’t afford, Baconators from Wendy’s, and reading books by Zane.  Oh yeah, and I absolutely adore my Westie pup, Max. I had to give him a strong name like Maximus because he’s all little and fluffy.  I was worried bigger dogs might try to phuck with him because of that, but he slays them with his cuteness.

Ben and I are having problems in our relationship right now.  He thinks if I have his lurve child, I will leave my man and it will bring us closer together. Here he is sitting outside my house in his hoopty.   Somebody call the cops.  Edit:  We’ve since made up, but our relationship is still complicated.  I still want to flop around on him like a goldfish out of water.

I’d be lying if I said that I hated the dingho.  Actually,  she makes blogging a hell of a lot easier for me because I can always count on her to make a complete ass of herself in front of the cameras.  I’m not a hater, I just admire her flaws. Dingho, you complete me!

Whorelando Bloom.  The once “Most Googled Man” and and sexiest adrogynous heartthrob ever.  He’s the source of a lot of problems within his fandumb.  A lot of his fans see him as the perpetual victim, but I know better.  That’s why he’s as equally ridiculed as his cabbage-headed accomplice on my blog.  I think I fill out my skinny jeans better, but I could be wrong.

I’m really excited about having a new president, Barack Obama, in office.  It’s amazing to see that the unlikeliest candidate became the right man for the job.  I almost split up with my closeted Republican best friend over him.  Election years can bring out the worst in everyone.  I’m just glad my guy won.