Don’t take the last train to Clarksville, it sux here October 27, 2008

I’m having a shitastic day!

This will make you lolz. The Office – Jim smacks Dwight:

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I was late to school today; when I pulled into the parking lot I realized I left all my books and shite at home. So I decided to go food shopping. I got my period in the frozen food aisle. It sucked. I was wearing beige jeans. I decide to get drunk. I go home, pop open a bottle of Red Stripe. The phone rings, I’m talking to my bro and lighting some aromatherapy candles in a feeble attempt to “soothe” myself. I catch my thumbnail on fire (my nails are still done up like Liberace’s house on Halloween). Apparently glittery nails polish is highly flammable. I blow out my thumbnail like it is a smoking gun. My brother is laughing hysterically. He asks for pics. He is an asshole.

Anyway here’s a pic of my smoking hot new manicure:

Sorry it’s so blurry, I’m a righty and I snapped the pic with my lefty.

“the relationship of akeelers barnes” October 26, 2008

Lolzy!
Akeelers is FAMOUS!!!!
8 people typed “the relationship of akeelers barnes” into search engines and ended up here at BS.
Or it was one really obsessed person who just had to know

That is friggin’ hilarious! I ♥ it!

Yes, you guys, she it totally (not) related to Ben Barnes…

AHAHAHAHAHAHA

Ah, I love the internets.

I’m sure when Akeelers wakes up tomorrow she is gonna ♥ this too

Akeelers – I want a piece too! Don’t forget who introduced you to your *long lost cousin/half brother/husband Benji!

* I had to edit to clarify for da readers Akeelers’ Barnes lineage

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Ben just found out that not only is he related to Akeelers (he’s her first cousin and half brother); he is also legally married to her in 46 countries thanks to her use of an internet marriage site: We’ll Marry Your Stalker Ass to ANY Celeb.com

Ben Barnes autograph session London Expo Crapo 25th Oct 2008 October 25, 2008

Source: noorhazfalinda

Ben says at the end of the vid that he’ll “sign whatever you want”.
FUCK!!! I totes would have popped my boobs out right then. AND he would have signed my grannie panties and my vibrating duck!!!
(The gurl who filmed this vid said on her YouTube that it cost £15 to get one of Ben’s autographs. That’s a lot of freakin’ money!!! Like 50 million US dollars and shiz (okay so that’s only with the current exchange rate. hahaha) ) (I like parenthesis) (and exclamation points!!!!)

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“Gee, I really hope some hot slappers show up and pop out their busoms to autograph and also have me sign their grannie panties and vibrating ducks today.”

Christmas Card Exchange!!! October 22, 2008

If department stores can be super duper early draggin’ out their pink tinsel and plastic baby Jesuses then we can too!

Since it was my idear, I have been forced selected to collect names and addys of peeps who would like to participate.

Don’t worry I’m like totally not going to come to your house and kill you or anything. Mostly because I am too lazy and gas is still quite expensive.
But, if you feel more comfortable using a PO Box or maybe the address of a neighbor you don’t like that much, by all means, do what ya gotta do.
Also, lurkers are encouraged to participate! Rachel Curtis and friends, that means you too!

If you’d like to get in on the merriment please e-mail me at: blogspew@gmail.com. Hopefully we’ll get a good number of participants. Otherwise it might be a dark Christmas for the kiddies as Santa appears to be on the brink of inhalation (who are we kidding? He inhaled! Oh, how he inhaled!):

Don’t let Santa turn all Reefer Madness on our asses this year! Join in our Xmas card exchange. Do it for the churdren

Do it for Charlie Brown:

And do it for Ben Barnes (who might kill himself if he ever sees this blingee):

Source for Ben’s blingee: narnia_dazzle at LJ

And Now for Something Completely Different October 21, 2008

Monty Python

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So I went to Disney World. It was fun. Now I’m broke. And still really really tired. Here are some pics from the trip:

Midget & fake Prince Caspicum (his wig totes ruined it for me )
His accent was perfect tho’: