Don’t take the last train to Clarksville, it sux here October 27, 2008

I’m having a shitastic day!

This will make you lolz. The Office – Jim smacks Dwight:

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I was late to school today; when I pulled into the parking lot I realized I left all my books and shite at home. So I decided to go food shopping. I got my period in the frozen food aisle. It sucked. I was wearing beige jeans. I decide to get drunk. I go home, pop open a bottle of Red Stripe. The phone rings, I’m talking to my bro and lighting some aromatherapy candles in a feeble attempt to “soothe” myself. I catch my thumbnail on fire (my nails are still done up like Liberace’s house on Halloween). Apparently glittery nails polish is highly flammable. I blow out my thumbnail like it is a smoking gun. My brother is laughing hysterically. He asks for pics. He is an asshole.

Anyway here’s a pic of my smoking hot new manicure:

Sorry it’s so blurry, I’m a righty and I snapped the pic with my lefty.

Ali-ers Cribs: A Very Special Episode September 7, 2008

I should be doing homework (boo). But being retarded on the internets is much more better!

My orginal intentions were to post a pic of my fridge (yes, I am that lame) to show Daners my sezy magnet collection. But then I got a brazil-nut Red Bull inspired idear to take a bunch of pix of random crap in my house!!! FTW!

Procrastination – I has it

The House of Ali-ers:
akldsfjklhfjsfjadkls!!!!

My front door – Pirates only bytches!!!

Jim Morrison lives!!!!
In my office:

Orlando is soo pissed off cos I went to the phuckin’ Disney store to buy my Prince Caspian Benji pillow they were all phuckin’ gone!!!! Now I’ll never get that 3some

I don’t know why, but I like John Deere shit:

Also! my kitchen is bright feckin’ yellow!:

My hot corkscrew oui oui man:

My fridge is sezy:

Très feckin’ cool Halloween candles look like they are dripping blood! I got too excited & lit them early :

Having random shit on your mantle FTW!!!

Rosie the Riveter watches over me whilst I type:

When I get bored I play “Where’s Waldo?” trying to figure out which one is my hubbie:

Every evening before I go niters, I read by the light of my Alice in Wonderland lamp, bytches!

And dis be what I read!:

I like it coz there are not a lot of werds and it has a bunch of pics!!! Just like dis blog

Blah blah Prince Caspian was a kind Telmarine… the kind that wants me to sit on his phace!!!

You totes know I polish that “magical horn” nightly before drifting off to slumbers… Zzzz

Yay! Clarksville – it’s better than Guantanamo Bay – we guarantee it! September 1, 2008

Okay, so I had this cute idea to do a little travel post here about the closest “big” town to where I live. Then I realized that this is actually just a thinly veiled attempt to try to get cool people to come hang out with me
But who cares, I’m still doing it!
Clarksville is the town that The Monkees are singing about taking the last train to. Those crazy Monkees.

This post will be short as there are only 3 places I could think of that anyone would actually want to visit whilst in Clarksvegas (some people call it that, I’m not sure why, but I bet they are being sarcastic).

1) The Black Horse Pub and Brewery. This place is friggin’ awesome. They don’t have a damn website for me to link up to, so I’ll have to go there and take pics of it.
This place is the only brewery I know of that brews Vanilla Cream beer – it might sound like it’d taste weird, but it’s GOOD SHIT!!!
There is going to be a Franklin Street Brewers Festival (The Blackhorse is located on Franklin Street) in two weeks – I am so going even if I have to bring my kid. Too bad she is too young and short to drive. Damnit!

2) Beachaven Winery. Their “Classic White” wine is the best! They even won a Gold Medal for it and shizz! Also, they do a nice merlot, for people who may dislike white wine because of its association with Jen Aniston Beachaven Winery has Jazz on the Lawn shows all summer long up until the end of October.

3) Tattoo Technique. This place is cool beans. I had two done here and my husband got his big bird (ha!) chest piece here.
Here is a video I found on You Tube that a customer did for them. It’s kinda cheesy, but cute. Andy – the skinny little dude, is the one who did my husband’s, and my cover up. The girl, Christy, who did my new bird (we’re just bird people I guess!) isn’t in the video, so she probably wasn’t working there yet. Or else it’s a conspiracy by the white man, I’m not really sure.